On your birthday

it's the perfect moment to say
that you are incredible.

Great skin,
clear eyes,
smooth neck,
firm boobs,
tight bum,
silky hair,
natural beauty,
amazing personality.

Son
Aarrghh! It's your birthday again.

First you're going to stuff yourself
full of chocolate for breakfast.
Then you'll insist on wearing that new shirt,
even though it's too big.
Next you'll get your party trousers muddy and torn
by pretending to be Wayne Rooney.
Later you'll make yourself hot and hyper
by having too many fizzy drinks.
And finally you'll make yourself sick
by pigging out on cake and jelly.

Good luck?
I'm sure you don't really need it...

Sorry

It was me.
All me.
I was deplorable.
Only regrets.
I'm despondent.
Inconsolable.

Thanks,
that was...

Fun*
Incredible*
Illegal*
A little weird*
Exhausting*
Hilarious*
Sticky*
So thoughtful*
Frankly, disastrous*
Intriguing*
Damp*
Kind of scary*
The best yet*
The last time, thanks.*

* circle as appropriate

You've passed
your driving test?
How stupid's that?

You two...engaged.
Ahhhh, two peas in a pod.

Romeo and Juliet.
Posh and Becks.
Richard and Judy.
Marks and Spencer.
Tony and Cherie.
Tom and Jerry.