Engagement Cards



Champagne Cork



Champagne Cork

Ref: NI22



Not personalisable. The Champagne Cork is attached to the card with a metal spring and it wobbles.

inside: blank
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

congratulations - so excited

Personalised Greetings Cards


congratulations - so excited

Ref: UN012 cong



you must be so excited you're
getting married and that
you found true love.
maybe if i wasn't so easy,
i could get married too.

inside: congratulations
Price: £2.50


Quantity:

congratulations - no idea

Personalised Greetings Cards


congratulations - no idea

Ref: UN011 cong



you have no idea how happy
i am that you're getting married.
and since i'm never going to
tell you, you're literally
never going to know.

inside: congratulations
Price: £2.50


Quantity:

congratulations - found happiness

Personalised Greetings Cards


congratulations - found happiness

Ref: UN001 cong



i'm so glad you
found happiness
in another person
and not other
things like booze
or smack.

inside: congratulations
Price: £2.50


Quantity:

congratulations - mistake

Personalised Greetings Cards


congratulations - mistake

Ref: UN006 cong



even if i thought you were making
a huge mistake by getting married
i wouldn't even tell you.
that's how happy i am for you.

inside: congratulations
Price: £2.50


Quantity:

Toilet Seat

Personalised Greetings Cards


Toilet Seat

Ref: TTP002



Keen to assert her dominance in the early stages of
co-habitation, Louise resorted to rather drastic methods.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Sexual Advances

Personalised Greetings Cards


Sexual Advances

Ref: TTP013



Laura had developed various methods
for warding off unwanted sexual advances.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Bed Wall

Personalised Greetings Cards


Bed Wall

Ref: TTP004



Richard had devised a foolproof solution
for Nicola's nocturnal sheet stealing.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Sex Night

Personalised Greetings Cards


Sex Night

Ref: TTP005



As Paul referred to the calendar, remarking that it
was indeed sex night, Lisa wondered if the spontaneity
in their relationship might be waning.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Bedroom Fruits

Personalised Greetings Cards


Bedroom Fruits

Ref: TTP010



Emma had heard that creative use of fruits in the bedroom
could spice up any relationship.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Doomed Romance

Personalised Greetings Cards


Doomed Romance

Ref: TTP006



Blinded by an overwhelming physical attraction, they both failed
to spot the signs that their love would be doomed from the start.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

On Your Engagement

Personalised Greetings Cards


On Your Engagement

Ref: HG96



On Your Engagement

Now that you're engaged
you're sent congratulations
for good news like this
is cause for celebrations.

Approx. 21 x 12cm
Price: £2.75


Quantity:

You two... engaged.

Personalised Greetings Cards


You two... engaged.

Ref: SPL1051



You two...engaged.
Ahhhh, two peas in a pod.

Romeo and Juliet.
Posh and Becks.
Richard and Judy.
Marks and Spencer.
Tony and Cherie.
Tom and Jerry.
Madonna and Guy.
Lea and Perrins.
Elton and David.
Charles and Camilla.
Wallace and Gromit.
Ant and Dec.
Cousin Eric and Emma the goat.

inside:
Hey - if you love each other,
who cares what the world thinks?
Price: £2.20


Quantity:

Newspaper Love

Personalised Greetings Cards


Newspaper Love

Ref: MS149



Love does not consist in gazing at each other
but in looking outward together in the same direction
Price: £2.50


Quantity:

Nothing is more beautiful

Personalised Greetings Cards


Nothing is more beautiful

Ref: MS19



Nothing is more beautiful than love that has weathered the storms of life.
Price: £2.50


Quantity:

Birds & Bees

Personalised Greetings Cards


out of stock

Birds & Bees

Ref: CH21



... and that's where babies come from.

Okay, lemme get this straight. So first there's a momma bird and a poppa bird.
And now you're telling me the birds actually have sex with bees?
What sort of disconnected interspecies bullshit is this?
Get your shit straight, dad.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

It hurts

Personalised Greetings Cards


It hurts

Ref: CH34



Women do: piercings, tatoos, face lifts, cesarean birth, liposuction, plucking of facial hair and eyebrows, and depilation with hot wax...

So how dare they tell you "it hurts" when you ask for some anal sex?!
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Gameboy

Personalised Greetings Cards


Gameboy

Ref: CH07



Charles, do you value our relationship?

Whoa, nice gameboy!

Wanna trade?
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Pepper spray

Personalised Greetings Cards


Pepper spray

Ref: CH11



So, did anything happen with you and Karen last night?

Same thing that always happens... as soon as we started getting romantic I began crying uncontrollably.

Nervous habit?

Pepper spray.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Things to Remember

Personalised Greetings Cards


Things to Remember

Ref: EM44



THINGS to REMEMBER

The SUN
is WARM

The WORLD
is a
BEAUTIFUL
PLACE

Dave owes me five quid
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Secret of True Love

Personalised Greetings Cards


Secret of True Love

Ref: EM62



The SECRET of TRUE LOVE

Together, Master of all knowledge and
Student of Life gaze at the giant
Sponge Cake.

STUDENT : What is this overwhelming
feeling of PEACE and HARMONY,
oh MASTER? From where does it come?

MASTER: It comes, my child, not from
the sponges themselves but from the
SPACE that lies BETWEEN them.

For what holds them TOGETHER
is not just the Cream of Desire...
(DRAMATIC PAUSE)
...but the glorious jam of
FRIENDSHIP as well.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Eggs in one basket

Personalised Greetings Cards


Eggs in one basket

Ref: EY001



Never put all your eggs in one basket.

Sleep around
It's fun
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Variety is...

Personalised Greetings Cards


Variety is...

Ref: EY020



Variety is the spice of life

Ask any swinger
(or your Parents)
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Change a man

Personalised Greetings Cards


Change a man

Ref: HMB402



If you want to change a man,
you better do it
while he's still in nappies.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Out of my way

Personalised Greetings Cards


Out of my way

Ref: KMK006



GET OUT OF MY WAY
I'M FABULOUS!!
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

People Person

Personalised Greetings Cards


People Person

Ref: KMK016



Do I look like a
fucking 'people
person' ?!
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

No Men

Personalised Greetings Cards


No Men

Ref: PG19



IN A WORLD WITHOUT MEN
THERE WOULD BE NO NEED FOR SLIMMING
AND NO NEED FOR JOGGING...
JUST LOTS OF HAPPY, FAT WOMEN!
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Mother.

Personalised Greetings Cards


Mother.

Ref: PG01



IF IT'S NOT ONE THING.
IT'S YOUR MOTHER.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Simplest tastes

Personalised Greetings Cards


Simplest tastes

Ref: PG23



I HAVE THE SIMPLEST TASTES.
I AM ALWAYS SATISFIED WITH THE BEST.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Surprised Woman

Personalised Greetings Cards


Surprised Woman

Ref: PG02



BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN.
IS A SURPRISED WOMAN
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Marriage

Personalised Greetings Cards


Marriage

Ref: PG14



MARRIAGE IS LIKE
THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM:
YOU GET NEW CLOTHES. MOVE TO THE SUBURBS
AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO SEE YOUR FRIENDS ANYMORE!
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Kama sutra

Personalised Greetings Cards


Kama sutra

Ref: WM35



Kama Sutra

Great Expectations
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Moses God Woman

Personalised Greetings Cards


Moses God Woman

Ref: WM41



Moses had reason to believe
God was a woman

'Thou shalt do as I command thee'
'Thou shalt praise me'
'Thou shalt love me more than anything else'

Moses had a reason to believe
God was a woman


blank inside
Price: £2.25


Quantity:









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