Edward Monkton - 1


Greeting Cards - Edward Monkton

The Interesting Thoughts of Edward Monkton

These drawings would like to be your FRIENDS. Put them on a desk or a shelf - perhaps beside your bed - and glance at them from time to time. Use them for INSPIRATION. There is no corner of life into which they cannot shine the torch of INSIGHT. TRUST these drawings. They will not LET YOU DOWN.

Approx. 5.5" x 6.5" - Blank inside - White envelope - Made in England
Compostable cellobags - Recycled envelopes

Note: Heavily-textured card stock.
Not suitable for Personalised print.
 


Lady and Chocolate

Personalised Greetings Cards


Lady and Chocolate

Ref: EM29



The LADY and the CHOCOLATE

CHOCOLATE: You want me Lady don't you? You want me! YOU WANT ME!
LADY: No Chocolate, I do not want you, for after the initial
Pleasure there is SICKNESS and there is GUILT.
CHOCOLATE: That, Lady is the REASON FOR MY EXISTENCE.
Are you to deny me the REASON FOR MY EXISTENCE?
LADY: No, Chocolate. I would not do that.
CHOCOLATE: Thank you.

(A munching sound is heard, followed by
a sigh of pleasure)
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Wonderful you

Personalised Greetings Cards


Wonderful you

Ref: EM105



Wonderful you
Marvellous marvellous
Lovely lovely lovely
Wonderful wonderful wonderful YOU!

(dressed as a banana)
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Special Present

Personalised Greetings Cards


Special Present

Ref: EM111



YOUR SPECIAL PRESENT

They say that with a present it's the
THOUGHT that counts. So this year
I am going to THINK for you a brand
new DIAMOND necklace.

Generous Thought
If it works, I promise to get you matching
earings next year as well!!
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Things to Remember

Personalised Greetings Cards


Things to Remember

Ref: EM44



THINGS to REMEMBER

The SUN
is WARM

The WORLD
is a
BEAUTIFUL
PLACE

Dave owes me five quid
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

You are Mad

Personalised Greetings Cards


You are Mad

Ref: EM81



YOU ARE MAD

Your Special Hat of Madness

Dear Person, You are MAD.
But I mean that in a nice way.
i.e. You are NICE mad, not
SCARY mad. SCARY mad
would not be good. Oh god,
please don't go SCARY
MAD
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Secret of True Love

Personalised Greetings Cards


Secret of True Love

Ref: EM62



The SECRET of TRUE LOVE

Together, Master of all knowledge and
Student of Life gaze at the giant
Sponge Cake.

STUDENT : What is this overwhelming
feeling of PEACE and HARMONY,
oh MASTER? From where does it come?

MASTER: It comes, my child, not from
the sponges themselves but from the
SPACE that lies BETWEEN them.

For what holds them TOGETHER
is not just the Cream of Desire...
(DRAMATIC PAUSE)
...but the glorious jam of
FRIENDSHIP as well.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Penguin of Death

Personalised Greetings Cards


Penguin of Death

Ref: EM22



THE PENGUIN OF DEATH

Things you Need to Know
1. He is strangely attractive
because of his enigmatic smile

2. He can kill you in any 1
of 412 different ways
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Shoe of Salvation

Personalised Greetings Cards


Shoe of Salvation

Ref: EM27



THE SHOE OF SALVATION

SHOE: Look at me. Am I not wonderful?

LADY: You are the most wonderful shoe
in the world. I fall to my knees
and weep with pleasure when
I am with you.

PAUSE

LADY: You are BEAUTY. You are
TRUTH. In you I find my
SALVATION.

SHOE: Thank you. You are a nice lady.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

My Killer Heels

Personalised Greetings Cards


My Killer Heels

Ref: EM86



MY "KILLER" HEELS

When I wear my Killer Heels, men
will GASP with passion, lust
and longing, and girls will
SIGH with envy and despair.

For I shall be the total QUEEN
of HOTNESS, and they
shall be my faithful, humble
SLAVES.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

The Beautiful Frock

Personalised Greetings Cards


out of stock

The Beautiful Frock

Ref: EM47



THE BEAUTIFUL FROCK

"Buy me, Lady", said the frock,
"and I will make you into a
BEAUTIFUL and WHOLE and
COMPLETE Human Being."
"Do not be SILLY", said the Man,
"for a frock alone cannot do that."
"TRUE", said the Lady. "I will
have the Shoes and the Bag
as well."
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Shimmering Brilliance

Personalised Greetings Cards


Shimmering Brilliance

Ref: EM124



The GARMENT of SHIMMERING BRILLIANCE

And, Lo, there are appeared before the Lady a
garment of such shimmering BRILLIANCE,
such light, and delicate BEAUTY that it
must have come from the very gods themselves.
"Is this a SIGN?" cried the Lady. " A holy
Robe of Understanding in which the cloak
my restless, YEARNING SOUL?"

"Um, no" a voice replied. "You're just
someone who FANTASISES a lot
about DRESSES."
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Gorgeous Handbags

Personalised Greetings Cards


Gorgeous Handbags

Ref: EM80



Gorgeous Handbags

When the world seems DARK and full of SORROW.
When my feet are DRAGGING on the ground,
I simply look at all my GORGEOUS HANDBAGS
and suddenly TRUE HAPPINESSSis found!
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

HIPPOPOTAMUS

Personalised Greetings Cards


HIPPOPOTAMUS

Ref: EM120



The HIPPOPOTAMUS of EXTRAORDINARY GRACE

see the beauty of her joyful dance

Let her dainty steps remind us that we
can ALL achieve whatever we set our
YEARNING HEARTS upon
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Love Monkey

Personalised Greetings Cards


Love Monkey

Ref: EM100



LOVE MONKEY

He stands for LOVE He stands for HAPPINESS
He stands for TRUTH He stands for BEAUTY

Let us, like LOVE MONKEY, stand
for what we HOLD most DEAR
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Chocolate Kingdom

Personalised Greetings Cards


Chocolate Kingdom

Ref: EM56



MY CHOCOLATE KINGDOM

a Fragment of a Dream
...and in my Chocolate Kingdom they
brought me great MOUNTAINS of
CHOCOLATE and thereof did I eat. And
it did not make me feel ILL or
ASHAMED, neither did it put weight
on my THIGHS. For the chocolate was
health-giving and NOURISHING,
and the more I ate, the more
BEAUTIFUL I became.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Notice to Redheads

Personalised Greetings Cards


Notice to Redheads

Ref: EM122



NOTICE to all REDHEADS

It has just been SCIENTIFICALLY proven
that red hair is the main NATURAL
source of LOVE in the world.

So, redheads, you have an IMPORTANT
job to do. Rise up! RISE UP and
FREE the world with your BIG
BIG love and your RED RED hair!!
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Getting Older

Personalised Greetings Cards


Getting Older

Ref: EM65



GETTING OLDER

May each year be a feather on
the glorious Chicken of Life
as it soars UNTAMED and
BEAUTIFUL towards the
golden sun
Price: £2.35


Quantity:









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