Edward Monkton - 1


Greeting Cards - Edward Monkton

The Interesting Thoughts of Edward Monkton

These drawings would like to be your FRIENDS. Put them on a desk or a shelf - perhaps beside your bed - and glance at them from time to time. Use them for INSPIRATION. There is no corner of life into which they cannot shine the torch of INSIGHT. TRUST these drawings. They will not LET YOU DOWN.

Approx. 5.5" x 6.5" - Blank inside - White envelope - Made in England
Compostable cellobags - Recycled envelopes

Note: Heavily-textured card stock.
May result in slightly reduced quality of Personalised print.
 


Card for Men

Personalised Greetings Cards


Card for Men

Ref: EM90



All-Purpose CARD for MEN

Dear Man,
I know that "men" can get a bit anxious
about DIRECT EMOTIONAL CONTACT
and "SENTIMENTAL" messages, so I'll
just say "Man, um... quite NICE... ahem,
yes. Here's a card for you... or something.
Happy whatever. Ok. Bye."
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Power of Cake

Personalised Greetings Cards


Power of Cake

Ref: EM89



The POWER of CAKE

To be said in a MAD voice

CAKE is your FRIEND. I mean,
I know you have OTHER friends
- Real friends but, hey, CAKE...
mmm... CAKE!! CAKE!!!

And now CALMER

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Eat Cake. But do NOT eat your friends
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Birthday Gayness Test

Personalised Greetings Cards


Birthday Gayness Test

Ref: EM140



BIRTHDAY GAYNESS TEST

They say that, these days, most people are
at least a LITTLE BIT gay, so I've devised
a cunning test to see exactly How gay YOU are:

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS KITTEN?
a) Woah! That would taste great on the barbecue.
b) OK, I can deal with a pink cat.
c) Oh, how Gorgeous! She's adorable!
d) OMG! That would accessorize so well with
my shoes!

ANSWERS:
a) Not gay at all.
b) A little bit gay.
c) Super-gay (as if you needed me to tell you).
d) Just Too gay, OK?

Price: £2.35


Quantity:

You and the Flower

Personalised Greetings Cards


You and the Flower

Ref: EM137



You and the Flower

You and the Flower are as ONE,
for you both bring BEAUTY,
JOY and COLOUR into the
world*.

* Plus YOU have Grooviness. Oh yeah!
So that's one to you over the flower.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Old People

Personalised Greetings Cards


Old People

Ref: EM136



OLD PEOPLE

Let us all LEARN from the Dignity
and Wisdom of the Old, for their
LIVES have been RICH and varied,
and their KNOWLEDGE is beyond
our normal understanding.

So... start SPEAKING!
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Birthday Song

Personalised Greetings Cards


Birthday Song

Ref: EM123



YOUR BIRTHDAY SONG

I'm writing a SONG about you
for your BIRTHDAY and it goes
something like this:

Crazy but wonderful
That's what you are
Crazy but wonderful
Like a chicken in a bra...

It's not quite FINISHED yet, but what
do you think so far?
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

You are Wonderful

Personalised Greetings Cards


You are Wonderful

Ref: EM132



YOU ARE WONDERFUL

Hoorah! have a BISCUIT!

Don't worry, I know you're not a
DOG so it's not a Dog Biscuit,
it's a HUMAN Biscuit*

*But it's not MADE of humans.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

You are Lovely

Personalised Greetings Cards


You are Lovely

Ref: EM59



YOU ARE LOVELY

May flowers of HAPPIINESS
endlessly GROW in the
sweet ENCHANTED garden
of your HEART
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

The Wonderful Girl

Personalised Greetings Cards


The Wonderful Girl

Ref: EM58



THE WONDERFUL GIRL

This is a picture of the Wonderful
Girl. She is beautiful and STRONG
and soft all the same time.

Everyone who meets her LOVES
her and she spreads HAPPINESS
wherever she goes.

She is not even frightened of
SPIDERS.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

A thought for Girls

Personalised Greetings Cards


A thought for Girls

Ref: EM87



A THOUGHT for GIRLS

Sometimes a person needs SUPPORT,
COURAGE, LOVE, HOPE,
UNDERSTANDING and an ANSWER
to the Bigger Questions of LIFE.

And sometimes the BIGGEST
Question is "Where can I find a
truly UNBELIEVABLE Chocolate
Fudge Brownie?"
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Follow your Heart

Personalised Greetings Cards


Follow your Heart

Ref: EM129



FOLLOW YOUR HEART

For your HEART will always know
the ANSWER.
But if it tells you to strangle KITTENS
or something then DON'T follow it
anymore. I mean, it's only a HEART,
right? It's not the Dalai Lama.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Special Announcement

Personalised Greetings Cards


Special Announcement

Ref: EM127



A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Due to the recent global turmoil, it has now
been decided that the World will be
governed solely by the principles of
LOVELINESS.
Congratulations! That DEFINITELY
puts YOU in the Cabinet (see your
new office door above).
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Sensible Machine

Personalised Greetings Cards


Sensible Machine

Ref: EM109



And in the New Administration, they
ordered all the people through the
'SENSIBLE' MACHINE.

But some were so INSANE that they
ESCAPED the Treatment, for
nothing could be done to take their
LUNACY away.

CONGRATULATIONS to a fellow escapee!
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Things to Remember

Personalised Greetings Cards


Things to Remember

Ref: EM44



THINGS to REMEMBER

The SUN
is WARM

The WORLD
is a
BEAUTIFUL
PLACE

Dave owes me five quid
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Secret of True Love

Personalised Greetings Cards


Secret of True Love

Ref: EM62



The SECRET of TRUE LOVE

Together, Master of all knowledge and
Student of Life gaze at the giant
Sponge Cake.

STUDENT : What is this overwhelming
feeling of PEACE and HARMONY,
oh MASTER? From where does it come?

MASTER: It comes, my child, not from
the sponges themselves but from the
SPACE that lies BETWEEN them.

For what holds them TOGETHER
is not just the Cream of Desire...
(DRAMATIC PAUSE)
...but the glorious jam of
FRIENDSHIP as well.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Shoe of Salvation

Personalised Greetings Cards


Shoe of Salvation

Ref: EM27



THE SHOE OF SALVATION

SHOE: Look at me. Am I not wonderful?

LADY: You are the most wonderful shoe
in the world. I fall to my knees
and weep with pleasure when
I am with you.

PAUSE

LADY: You are BEAUTY. You are
TRUTH. In you I find my
SALVATION.

SHOE: Thank you. You are a nice lady.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

My Killer Heels

Personalised Greetings Cards


My Killer Heels

Ref: EM86



MY "KILLER" HEELS

When I wear my Killer Heels, men
will GASP with passion, lust
and longing, and girls will
SIGH with envy and despair.

For I shall be the total QUEEN
of HOTNESS, and they
shall be my faithful, humble
SLAVES.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

The Beautiful Frock

Personalised Greetings Cards


The Beautiful Frock

Ref: EM47



THE BEAUTIFUL FROCK

"Buy me, Lady", said the frock,
"and I will make you into a
BEAUTIFUL and WHOLE and
COMPLETE Human Being."
"Do not be SILLY", said the Man,
"for a frock alone cannot do that."
"TRUE", said the Lady. "I will
have the Shoes and the Bag
as well."
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Shimmering Brilliance

Personalised Greetings Cards


Shimmering Brilliance

Ref: EM124



The GARMENT of SHIMMERING BRILLIANCE

And, Lo, there are appeared before the Lady a
garment of such shimmering BRILLIANCE,
such light, and delicate BEAUTY that it
must have come from the very gods themselves.
"Is this a SIGN?" cried the Lady. " A holy
Robe of Understanding in which the cloak
my restless, YEARNING SOUL?"

"Um, no" a voice replied. "You're just
someone who FANTASISES a lot
about DRESSES."
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Gorgeous Handbags

Personalised Greetings Cards


Gorgeous Handbags

Ref: EM80



Gorgeous Handbags

When the world seems DARK and full of SORROW.
When my feet are DRAGGING on the ground,
I simply look at all my GORGEOUS HANDBAGS
and suddenly TRUE HAPPINESSSis found!
Price: £2.35


Quantity:









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