Edward Monkton - 2


Greeting Cards - Edward Monkton

The Interesting Thoughts of Edward Monkton

These drawings would like to be your FRIENDS. Put them on a desk or a shelf - perhaps beside your bed - and glance at them from time to time. Use them for INSPIRATION. There is no corner of life into which they cannot shine the torch of INSIGHT. TRUST these drawings. They will not LET YOU DOWN.

Approx. 5.5" x 6.5" - Blank inside - White envelope - Made in England
Compostable cellobags - Recycled envelopes

Note: Heavily-textured card stock.
Not suitable for Personalised print.
 


Cow of Wisdom

Personalised Greetings Cards


Cow of Wisdom

Ref: EM134



The Cow of Wisdom

Whenever you're uncertain
and you don't know what to do
the cow of wisdom always answers
"Just chill out ... and MOO"
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Sheep of Destiny

Personalised Greetings Cards


Sheep of Destiny

Ref: EM84



The SHEEP of DESTINY

He SMILES because he sees
your future.
And Oh, how HAPPY shall
that future be!
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Madness Hamsters

Personalised Greetings Cards


Madness Hamsters

Ref: EM46



The "MADNESS" hamsters

Every night they visit you
Every night they come
And bit by bit
They steal your brain
And feed it to their MUM
Price: £2.35


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Live your dreams

Personalised Greetings Cards


Live your dreams

Ref: EM43



LIVE YOUR DREAMS
Except for that one about being
EATEN by the GIANT SPIDER

grrr
Price: £2.35


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Tidy People

Personalised Greetings Cards


Tidy People

Ref: EM99



"We come in PEACE. We mean you no HARM.
We simple want to STRAIGHTEN things out a little - like your cupboards
... and your clothes...and all that stuff you leave on the floor...
and those terrible piles of paper everywhere...
why do you do it?WHY?!" "um, I don't know really" "And your SOUL!!. We must STRENGHTEN YOU SOUL!!" "oh god now i'm SCARED."
FLASH SILENCE

Price: £2.35


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Straightness

Personalised Greetings Cards


Straightness

Ref: EM64



The LAW of STRAIGHTNESS

my pencils are STRAIGHT
my socks are STRAIGHT
my pillow is STRAIGHT
my chips are STRAIGHT

EVERYTHING must be STRAIGHT
or else the world will EXPLODE*

*Those who do not believe in the
Law of Straightness will not
BE SAVED
Price: £2.35


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Little Person

Personalised Greetings Cards


Little Person

Ref: EM103



THE LITTLE PERSON IN MY GLASS

Have ANOTHER drink," he says, "for it
will make you more ATTRACTIVE, funny,
BEAUTIFUL and wise."
"No," say I. "For I am STRONG and SENSIBLE,
and drinking will not do those things you say."
"Alas," says he, "then I am surely DOOMED.
For if you do not keep me WET, it is my fate to DIE."
So drink I do... and drink and drink and
DRINK. For NEVER would I have the
HEART to let a Little Person DIE
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Power of Shoes

Personalised Greetings Cards


Power of Shoes

Ref: EM107



The Power of Shoes
Sometimes a woman wants to be
treated with REVERENCE, UNDERSTANDING,
INTELLIGENCE, SENSITIVITY and RESPECT.

But sometimes she just wants men to
look at her and DRIBBLE into
their GRAVY.

Note
Both of the above can be achieved
with SHOES.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Lesbian Poem

Personalised Greetings Cards


Lesbian Poem

Ref: EM78



I'm a lovely lesbian
Sitting in a tree.
Would you like to come on up
And have a cup of tea?
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Bags of Magic

Personalised Greetings Cards


Bags of Magic

Ref: EM69



LITTLE BAGS OF MAGIC

The little bags of magic
say there is NOTHING
that they cannot do
Price: £2.35


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Congratulations

Personalised Greetings Cards


Congratulations

Ref: EM32



Congratulations
You may now wear the GIANT
HAT of CLEVERNESS!
Price: £2.35


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New Baby

Personalised Greetings Cards


New Baby

Ref: EM91



New Baby
So sweet and tender
Small and new
So full of puke
So full of poo
Price: £2.35


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Thank You

Personalised Greetings Cards


Thank You

Ref: EM15



THANK YOU

Just as the Flower thanks
the Sun for helping it to GROW,
so I thank you for the
WONDERFULNESS with
which you have bestowed.
Price: £2.35


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Good Luck

Personalised Greetings Cards


Good Luck

Ref: EM36



GOOD LUCK

May the warm SUN of
FORTUNE shine its glorious
rays upon your marvellous
HEAD
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

New Home

Personalised Greetings Cards


New Home

Ref: EM30



NEW HOME
Interesting Theory
The snail is HAPPY in his home even though he has neither TV
nor DISHWASHER.
The HUMAN will therefore
be even more HAPPY than the
SNAIL.
(END of INTERESTING THEORY)
Price: £2.35


Quantity:

Getting Married

Personalised Greetings Cards


Getting Married

Ref: EM33



GETTING MARRIED
Arm in arm they stand
on the sausage of love
looking out together at the
ketchup of their dreams.
Price: £2.35


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Happy Anniversary

Personalised Greetings Cards


Happy Anniversary

Ref: EM31



The Biscuits of Love
Their LOVE for each other does
not diminish

Instead it grows STRONGER
and more BEAUTIFUL as
each year passes.
Price: £2.35


Quantity:









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