Edward Monkton Birthday Cards

The Interesting Thoughts of Edward Monkton

These drawings would like to be your FRIENDS. Put them on a desk or a shelf - perhaps beside your bed - and glance at them from time to time. Use them for INSPIRATION. There is no corner of life into which they cannot shine the torch of INSIGHT. TRUST these drawings. They will not LET YOU DOWN.

Approx. 5.5" x 6.5" - Blank inside - White envelope - Made in England
Compostable cellobags - Recycled envelopes

Note: Heavily-textured card stock.
Not suitable for Personalised print.

Secret of Cake

Ref: EM162

Special Birthday Tip

Eating loads of cake can make you
even more beautiful than you
already are.*

* And, you know, even if it doesn't...there's
no harm in just seeing, right?

Price: £2.25

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The Birthday Boy

Ref: EM149

The BIRTHDAY BOY

Congratulations, Birthday Boy!
How wonderful to CELEBRATE another
revolution in the strange yet happy
Hamster Wheel of Time.

Price: £2.25

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Happy Man-Birthday

Ref: EM154

To be Said in a Deep Voice

happy man-Birthday, Man. Have some
"man" beer. Won't say much more than
that because it's not very manly to
get over-excited about that sort
of thing now, is it?

Price: £2.25

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Cupcake of Life

Ref: EM170

The CUPCAKE of LIFE

May you ALWAYS find the ICING
on the Cupcake of your LIFE

Price: £2.25

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The Birthday Girl

Ref: EM150

The BIRTHDAY GIRL

Congratulations, Birthday Girl!
Another YEAR - another BUBBLE
in the mad and joyful Champagne
Glass of LIFE.

Price: £2.25

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Anything is Possible

Ref: EM82

"Anything is Possible", she
believed, so she grew WINGS
and flew like an ANGEL to
the STARS.*

*She didn't know that the back of her
dress was tucked into her knickers, though,
but, hey, you can't have it ALL!

Price: £2.25

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BIRTHDAY T-Shirt

Ref: EM171

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Your are an EXCELLENT Human
Being! Look, I've even made you a
T-shirt to PROVE it.

(You should probably not wear it OUTSIDE,
though, or people might think you're
a bit of a WEIRDO).

Price: £2.25

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Zen Dog

Ref: EM76

ZEN DOG

He knows not where he's going
For the ocean will decide -
It's not the DESTINATION...

... it's the glory of THE RIDE

Price: £2.35

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Card for Men

Ref: EM90

All-Purpose CARD for MEN

Dear Man,
I know that "men" can get a bit anxious
about DIRECT EMOTIONAL CONTACT
and "SENTIMENTAL" messages, so I'll
just say "Man, um... quite NICE... ahem,
yes. Here's a card for you... or something.
Happy whatever. Ok. Bye."

Price: £2.35

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Power of Cake

Ref: EM89

The POWER of CAKE

To be said in a MAD voice

CAKE is your FRIEND. I mean,
I know you have OTHER friends
- Real friends but, hey, CAKE...
mmm... CAKE!! CAKE!!!

And now CALMER

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Eat Cake. But do NOT eat your friends

Price: £2.35

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Little Person

Ref: EM103

THE LITTLE PERSON IN MY GLASS

Have ANOTHER drink," he says, "for it
will make you more ATTRACTIVE, funny,
BEAUTIFUL and wise."
"No," say I. "For I am STRONG and SENSIBLE,
and drinking will not do those things you say."
"Alas," says he, "then I am surely DOOMED.
For if you do not keep me WET, it is my fate to DIE."
So drink I do... and drink and drink and
DRINK. For NEVER would I have the
HEART to let a Little Person DIE

Price: £2.35

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Wonderful you

Ref: EM105

Wonderful you
Marvellous marvellous
Lovely lovely lovely
Wonderful wonderful wonderful YOU!

(dressed as a banana)

Price: £2.35

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Things to Remember

Ref: EM44

THINGS to REMEMBER

The SUN
is WARM

The WORLD
is a
BEAUTIFUL
PLACE

Dave owes me five quid

Price: £2.35

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Shoe of Salvation

Ref: EM27

THE SHOE OF SALVATION

SHOE: Look at me. Am I not wonderful?

LADY: You are the most wonderful shoe
in the world. I fall to my knees
and weep with pleasure when
I am with you.

PAUSE

LADY: You are BEAUTY. You are
TRUTH. In you I find my
SALVATION.

SHOE: Thank you. You are a nice lady.

Price: £2.35

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My Killer Heels

Ref: EM86

MY "KILLER" HEELS

When I wear my Killer Heels, men
will GASP with passion, lust
and longing, and girls will
SIGH with envy and despair.

For I shall be the total QUEEN
of HOTNESS, and they
shall be my faithful, humble
SLAVES.

Price: £2.35

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The Beautiful Frock

Ref: EM47

THE BEAUTIFUL FROCK

"Buy me, Lady", said the frock,
"and I will make you into a
BEAUTIFUL and WHOLE and
COMPLETE Human Being."
"Do not be SILLY", said the Man,
"for a frock alone cannot do that."
"TRUE", said the Lady. "I will
have the Shoes and the Bag
as well."

Price: £2.35

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Shimmering Brilliance

Ref: EM124

The GARMENT of SHIMMERING BRILLIANCE

And, Lo, there are appeared before the Lady a
garment of such shimmering BRILLIANCE,
such light, and delicate BEAUTY that it
must have come from the very gods themselves.
"Is this a SIGN?" cried the Lady. " A holy
Robe of Understanding in which the cloak
my restless, YEARNING SOUL?"

"Um, no" a voice replied. "You're just
someone who FANTASISES a lot
about DRESSES."

Price: £2.35

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Gorgeous Handbags

Ref: EM80

Gorgeous Handbags

When the world seems DARK and full of SORROW.
When my feet are DRAGGING on the ground,
I simply look at all my GORGEOUS HANDBAGS
and suddenly TRUE HAPPINESSSis found!

Price: £2.35

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HIPPOPOTAMUS

Ref: EM120

The HIPPOPOTAMUS of EXTRAORDINARY GRACE

see the beauty of her joyful dance

Let her dainty steps remind us that we
can ALL achieve whatever we set our
YEARNING HEARTS upon

Price: £2.35

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Love Monkey

Ref: EM100

LOVE MONKEY

He stands for LOVE He stands for HAPPINESS
He stands for TRUTH He stands for BEAUTY

Let us, like LOVE MONKEY, stand
for what we HOLD most DEAR

Price: £2.35

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The Friends

Ref: EM14

THE FRIENDS

THE FRIENDS can connect in a
mysterious way without even speaking.

Perhaps they have AMAZING
MAGICAL POWERS.

Perhaps they are both just
PECULIAR IN THE HEAD.

Price: £2.35

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Tidy People

Ref: EM99

"We come in PEACE. We mean you no HARM.
We simple want to STRAIGHTEN things out a little - like your cupboards
... and your clothes...and all that stuff you leave on the floor...
and those terrible piles of paper everywhere...
why do you do it?WHY?!" "um, I don't know really" "And your SOUL!!. We must STRENGHTEN YOU SOUL!!" "oh god now i'm SCARED."
FLASH SILENCE

Price: £2.35

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Bags of Magic

Ref: EM69

LITTLE BAGS OF MAGIC

The little bags of magic
say there is NOTHING
that they cannot do

Price: £2.35

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