Cyanide & Happiness Cards


Cyanide and Happiness Cards

Cyanide and Happiness Cards

Deceptively simple, delightfully funny, slightly rude.

15cm x 15cm - blank inside - white envelope - cello wrapped
 


Thumb war

Personalised Greetings Cards


Thumb war

Ref: CH12



One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war!

Five, six, seven, eight. I used this hand to masturbate!
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Children

Personalised Greetings Cards


Children

Ref: CH40



Stop! Stop! Don't shoot

You have so much to live for! Think of your children!

I don't have any children

Exactly!
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Everest

Personalised Greetings Cards


Everest

Ref: CH18



Charles, why do you always stare at other women?

Why did they climb Mount Everest?

What the hell kind of analogy is that?

It wasn't an analogy, I was just trying to change the subject.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Birds & Bees

Personalised Greetings Cards


out of stock

Birds & Bees

Ref: CH21



... and that's where babies come from.

Okay, lemme get this straight. So first there's a momma bird and a poppa bird.
And now you're telling me the birds actually have sex with bees?
What sort of disconnected interspecies bullshit is this?
Get your shit straight, dad.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Tricked

Personalised Greetings Cards


Tricked

Ref: CH24



Take a card!
Any card!

That's my credit card.

Abra kadabra.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

It hurts

Personalised Greetings Cards


It hurts

Ref: CH34



Women do: piercings, tatoos, face lifts, cesarean birth, liposuction, plucking of facial hair and eyebrows, and depilation with hot wax...

So how dare they tell you "it hurts" when you ask for some anal sex?!
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Gameboy

Personalised Greetings Cards


Gameboy

Ref: CH07



Charles, do you value our relationship?

Whoa, nice gameboy!

Wanna trade?
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Pepper spray

Personalised Greetings Cards


Pepper spray

Ref: CH11



So, did anything happen with you and Karen last night?

Same thing that always happens... as soon as we started getting romantic I began crying uncontrollably.

Nervous habit?

Pepper spray.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Phone

Personalised Greetings Cards


Phone

Ref: CH03



Oh yeah...
that's good.
YEAH, THAT'S THE SPOT!!!
OH MY GOD!!!
YES!!! YES!!!
DON'T STOP!!!
MORE!! MORE!!

I called you like ten times. Where the hell is your phone?

I dunno. Maybe you should call it.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Erection

Personalised Greetings Cards


Erection

Ref: CH05



What do you have in your pocket?

Nothing. I'm having an erection.

Oh.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Boston Steamer

Personalised Greetings Cards


Boston Steamer

Ref: CH22



Dude, I totally gave my girlfriend a Dutch Oven last night.

Ah gross! You shit on her chest?

What? No! That's a Boston Steamer.

A Dutch Oven is when you fart in bed and pull the cover over her head.

Oh, okay, that's a lot less gross... But also a lot less sexy...
Price: £2.25


Quantity:









You are here ::   Cool Cards >  Big Collection : >  Cyanide & Happiness Cards