Birthday - Bald Guy


Bald Guy Birthday Cards

Refreshingly honest, sometimes brutal, always sarcastic, but never the less very caring cards.
Ian Kalman & Sean Farrell of San Francisco, California, a snarky greeting card partnership that lovingly tell it like it is.

7" x 5" - green envelope - not cello wrapped - recycled board
 


Special Friend

Personalised Greetings Cards


Special Friend

Ref: BG070



For my special friend
on your Birthday

inside:
Part of me calls you my special friend
because you're special to me.
But part of me calls you that
because it makes you sound retarded.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

From Us

Personalised Greetings Cards


From Us

Ref: BG018



Happy Birthday from us.

inside:
Sure the card says "from us,"
but I think we both know who bought the card
and who just signed their name.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Clown

Personalised Greetings Cards


Clown

Ref: BG006



HAPPY BIRTHDAY

inside:
Okay, I'm not sure if this will work, but lets try it.

1. Act like you're reading something personal I wrote in your card.
2. After a couple of seconds, laugh as though I wrote something very funny. In fact, tilt your head back when you laugh so it looks extremely funny.
3. Now nod your head as though I wrote something very serious and heartfelt. Maybe touch your heart and exhale, but don't make it look forced.
4. Okay, now close the card, look at me and mouth the words,
"thank you."
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Your day

Personalised Greetings Cards


Your day

Ref: BG068



TODAY IS
YOUR
- DAY. -

inside:
Well, you and the other 19 million people
in the world who are celebrating their birthday today.
That's right, I Googled it.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Family Member

Personalised Greetings Cards


Family Member

Ref: BG091



HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
FAMILY MEMBER.

inside:
I'm sorry this isn't very personalized.
I wasn't sure who in the family I was going to give it to.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Happy Belated Birthday - 2002

Personalised Greetings Cards


Happy Belated Birthday - 2002

Ref: BG096



HAPPY
BELATED
BIRTHDAY

inside:
I'm not going to lie to you;
this card is way later than you think.
It's actually for your birthday in 2002.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Can't believe

Personalised Greetings Cards


Can't believe

Ref: BG080



I can't believe
you're a year older.

inside:
Well, until I look at you.
After that, it totally makes sense.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

To Yu

Personalised Greetings Cards


To Yu

Ref: BG082



Happy Birthday
to Yu.

inside:
That is not a typo.
This card is actually a huge seller in China.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

You've aged

Personalised Greetings Cards


You've aged

Ref: BG078



You've aged.

inside:
But haven't we all?
It's just weird how it's so much more obvious on you.
Oh yeah, Happy Birthday.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Best Birthday Card Ever

Personalised Greetings Cards


Best Birthday Card Ever

Ref: BG048



THE
BEST
BIRTHDAY
CARD
EVER!

inside:
Well, it might not be the best birthday card ever,
but it's definitely the most confident.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Very Happy

Personalised Greetings Cards


Very Happy

Ref: BG058



VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

inside:
That's right. Most cards just say, "Happy Birthday."
This one says, "Very Happy Birthday."
because I care more than everyone else.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Something small

Personalised Greetings Cards


Something small

Ref: BG034



HAPPY BIRTHDAY

inside:
I was thinking about it and I don't think
we're close enough friends for a gift yet.
But here's a card.
Maybe next year, I'll get you something small.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Mr. Pickles

Personalised Greetings Cards


Mr. Pickles

Ref: BG059



Happy Birthday

inside:
Are you reading this card or just staring at it?

Here's a test
If you really are reading it, look at me and say,
"I think I'm gonna buy a cat and name it Mr. Pickles."
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Make a wish

Personalised Greetings Cards


Make a wish

Ref: BG069



Don't forget to make a wish before you blow out your candles.

inside:
Just don't expect your wish to come true.

Unless of course your wish is for the candles
to go out when you blow on them.

Then you have a pretty good chance.

Happy Birthday.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Some cultures

Personalised Greetings Cards


Some cultures

Ref: BG081



HAPPY BIRTHDAY

inside:
By now you've probably noticed
there is no gift attached to this card.

Just remember, in some cultures,
an inexpensive greeting card
is considered extremely thoughtful.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

A thousand

Personalised Greetings Cards


A thousand

Ref: BG022



MAY YOU LIVE
TO BE A THOUSAND.

inside:
And hopefully never grow tired of shitting yourself.
Because I've heard after 80,
you really lose control of your bowels.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

(I guess)

Personalised Greetings Cards


(I guess)

Ref: BG035



HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(I guess)

inside:
For the record, my birthday was on _________
and you didn't get me a card.

Not even an email.

But that's okay. Happy Birthday to you, I guess.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Great Birthday

Personalised Greetings Cards


Great Birthday

Ref: BG021



I hope you have a great birthday.

inside:
Mostly because I'm at your party
and I really want to have a good time.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

One in a million

Personalised Greetings Cards


One in a million

Ref: BG019



You're
one in a million.

inside:
But don't get too excited.
Statistically, that means there are
6,700 people exactly like you.
Happy Birthday.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

I couldn't be happier

Personalised Greetings Cards


I couldn't be happier

Ref: BG094



It's your birthday
and I couldn't be happier.

inside:
Mostly because your age makes me feel
so much better about my age.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Best Friend

Personalised Greetings Cards


Best Friend

Ref: BG020



Happy Birthday to my best friend.

inside:
I'm kidding, you're like my 3rd best friend,
but they don't sell cards that say that.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Hard person

Personalised Greetings Cards


Hard person

Ref: BG046



You're a hard person
to shop for.

inside:
And that's huge part of why I didn't get you anything.
Happy Birthday, though.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Self centered

Personalised Greetings Cards


Self centered

Ref: BG066



HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to the most self-centered
person I've ever met.

inside:
At first I thought this card would piss you off.
But then I thought maybe you'd like it
because it's all about you.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Happy Birthday

Personalised Greetings Cards


Happy Birthday

Ref: BG049



HAPPY BIRTHDAY

inside:
Today, we celebrate your life and all you've become.
So please don't let us down like you used to, okay?
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

Squeezed your way

Personalised Greetings Cards


Squeezed your way

Ref: BG007



HAPPY BIRTHDAY

inside:
I can't believe it
was just ____ years ago today
that you squeezed your way
out of your mother's vagina.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

I'm so happy

Personalised Greetings Cards


I'm so happy

Ref: BG090



I'm so happy
you were born.

inside:
Not so much because I'm a huge fan of yours,
but I'd hate to think of you still being inside your mother.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:

It's your birthday

Personalised Greetings Cards


It's your birthday

Ref: BG057



It's your birthday

inside:
Congratulations on being born. Nice work.
Price: £2.25


Quantity:









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